How To: Disappear

How do you disappear as someone trying to be seen?
Maybe you vanish. You lean into the magic.

 As a polite daughter (age 13)
Understand the positioning of your arms
and legs in relation to your own body.
You see how your cousins sit,
the boys with their arms out, their feet kicking off the chairs.
Do not follow their example,
you will be scolded.
Keep your arms close to your chest and sides.
Cross your feet at the ankles.
This will help you stop fidgeting.

No need to worry about your tongue,
that went years ago.

As a woman in the United States (age 34)
Make sure you've looked up the county bylaws
for the protest next week.
Remind people walking on the street
is a violation. Stick to the sidewalks.
It's not against the law to continuously
cross the street. Spend the time on research.
In-between dinners and depositions,
you should be reading
Crime and Punishment.
Educate yourself on the big players,
figure out who is who.
Find yourself a work friend,
someone who understands your opinion
and takes it seriously.
Someone who helps others listen to you,
who is willing to give a voice to your cause.

You may start to feel seen.
But remember,
this is how to disappear.

Expand in the office.
Don't get too comfortable, at least not with everyone.
Take your work friend and make them a confidant.
Take that confidant and make them your person.
Show yourself to your person.
Tell them your worries of being spoken over in the office.
Confide how often you hold your breath.
How often you hold your tongue and self back.

Take your person and make them your partner in crime. 

Take a moment to remember,
this is how to disappear.

Take this moment,
you will wonder how this is possible.

You remember how your partner speaks for you.
You understand that others respect that more.
You cannot understand why.
You will not question this.

You will show joy for them.
Because people are finally looking. *clap*
You will show you agree when others call your partner hardworking. *nod*
People are staring. Past you, gazing at your partner.
You will show you agree when they speak of the long nights. (You were both there.)
You will agree when they share about the start of the work. (The truth is stretched.)
You will nod, waiting for them to mention you.

You will keep nodding.

You will look into them. They will stare past you.

You can tell yourself anything you like here. See options below.

●  Any attention is good attention.
●  Every movement has a spokesperson.
●  It's easier if one person does the messaging.
●  I'm sure they will remember to thank me.
●  They understand me, they will give me credit for my work.

You pick. You don't move. You can't.
You put your arms to your chest and side.
You cross your feet at your ankles.

The speech ends. They thanked the team. *clap*
Congratulations, you've learned how to disappear without being seen.